Birthday Number 41 - Journey's End

It is my birthday. Here is a generalized catalog of what I thought about today....

• I'll go to work a half hour late today (which means, a half hour early instead of an hour early)... and I did.
• I wonder if anyone will surprise me with some "big to-do" which a small part of me would enjoy but a larger more visual part of me makes clear would embarrass me. No one did. One co-worker gave me a card (she was sweet); Vesta gave me a teddy bear with balloons [EDIT] (she and I had just "agreed" to not talk to each other, so this was confusing to me, however now I'm wrong for having said a co-worker was sweet with what they gave me and not saying something positive about Vesta - it's an unfortunate catch-22 that I'm used to now) [/EDIT].
• Do I feel "old"? I decided I did not, but was "feeling older", mostly I think because dad died exactly three weeks ago at only 63 years of age. Feelings of mortality, et al.
• Am I going to have to wear this retainer on my upper teeth forever?
• Oh please, not ANOTHER software change at work!!! (GROAN)
• Will I be a lonely old man like my mother's father ended up?
• Oh Lord, Amanda brought a big bouquet of balloon with her and made me walk in with them to La Fiesta for my birthday dinner. Funny!
• I miss Rumble.
• (random sexually charged thoughts)
• The pants I'm wearing a really old and tattered, in truth, and should be only for around the house or used as rags... but I hate to shop for clothes, so keep 'em
• I need to post the minutes to previous meetings to the SCHS Band website. Done.
• I need to work on the CD Order Form for the new MP3 CD we're offering at the Lakeside Jazz Festival (only a rough draft so far). Not done. Also supposed to create a form for people to buy "notes" in the now half-sized program for Lakeside Jazz. Not even started yet.
• I need to post an entry online since it's my birthday.. and the pics from dinner with Amanda. Done.

Wow. A truly momentous birthday in the annals of history. The "whole family" has a minor birthday get-together planned for me. Everything seems "muted" to me currently. Dad's death and ongoing "issues" not fit to post, as I'll have I'll be asked to remove them if I do, are making it hard for me to want to do much at all.

[EDIT]This post was modified 2009-02-27 @ 10:25am as I was berated for being insensitive (my interpretation). My apologies. This is the last entry I will ever put into this journal. Thanks to those who shared with me over the years, as I've trekked from 2000 through to 2009.[/EDIT]

Anthony John Malena, Born Feb 2 1946, Died Feb 5 2009

My father passed away early this morning after a months-long battle with what appears to be ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease).

He is survived by my mother and his wife (Ann), four grand children (Daniella, Amanda, Anthony and Christopher), and me, his only son, Anthony.

He passed on very peacefully at home with his loved ones around him. He will be missed very badly, but also be celebrated for his life and his passage on to the next phase of being. A memorial will be held at his home within the next few days.