Takeya's Grand (Re-)Opening and Life Thoughts

So last night, Anthony (my son, that is) and I went to Takeya's grand re-opening at their new location. It's very nice, larger in some ways, and so far, the food hasn't changed (I was told previously that they would actually be making some changes, perhaps drastic, to the food format -- no sign of that on opening night).

M.K. was working, of course (she "invited me" to come to opening night). She's a really special lady... who has a boyfriend. (sigh) Hence, she and I have not gone out (otherwise I'm sure we would have -- we've already exchanged phone numbers and talked on the phone, but that was it once news of the boyfriend came out). I've "noticed" her for a couple years now at (the old) Takeya. I will not be one to interfere with another person's relationship (this happened one time in my life, under very different circumstances involving a woman married to this day to a cheating lying bastard of a husband) so that's that. She and I are friends and nothing will come of it unless she becomes available, and I know about it... although... she did try to get me drunk last night by giving me a flask of Sake. Hah!!! I am unclear if she knows the mild physical contact we seem to consistently have every time I see her, which I never see her perform with others at work, is having this effect on me. But I'm pretty naive when it comes to women, so...

I'm a fool. Yeah.

I had hoped that Cheryl and I might have a possible future as more than friends, but as she stated multiple times, she is too busy (owning a successful software business, being a single parent, etc). She is so ambitious. I really hope she ends up where she wants to be. I had hoped it might be with me. (shrug)

So at the moment, it appears I'm still 100% available, a little sad, and confused as to what I should do next. This is probably a major factor in my previous post regarding my lethargic Christmas activities this year (lack of shopping, blah blah blah).

Add to that the fact that the kids' have had to endure their mother being remarried this week (I get my last name back!!), each one with their own way of reacting to it (as usual), and I guess it's just a really weird season for me. My mother, of COURSE, tries to get me to "admit" that I am having "trouble" with the re-marriage of Jamie Quick (formerly Malena, formerly Lienberger), so I just let her think what she wants (there's no use trying to change her mind).

So it's 3:30am, I'm sitting naked at my computer desk (TMI? Sorry) typing this entry, because I can't get to sleep. I'm not interested in doing anything. Maybe I should grab my laptop and go to Denny's, sit alone, browse the web, or (hah) play a full blown game of Age of Empires III there. THAT'D get some funny looks. :-)

There are times I wish I were able to just go out and have random sex, but the truth is, in MY CIRCLE of influence, I only truly know of one person who does this, and she's freshly re-married now and is the DEFINITE exception to the people I normally congregate with. (I'm finding that I really do miss the variety of physical contact methods I enjoyed during my marriage -- I'm trying to word that so that if my kids read this, I don't completely alienate them by grossing them out) I used to try and convince myself that I was the oddball (being faithful), but I know I'm not. And I'm glad that I'm just like (most) everyone else in my small circle of friends. Faithful, god-fearing, and full of my own brand of Love that will most likely blow the socks off of whomever I end up with. I keep pleasant memories of (yes...) certain events with Jamie in my mind because it actually feeds my good-feelings, remembering things personal, family, sexual or just plain silly in the past. I really, REALLY look forward to having that again with someone I can give my all to. Again.