Ceiling, At Rest

May it rest in piece.  It has served the world well for many years.  Now it is at peace.

MOVIE: Green Lantern

2.5 stars out of 5.   That's about all I can say.  It just wasn't that good.   Matinee showing worthy.

MOVIE: Super 8

I was not going to bother seeing this, but JaimeLeigh wanted to see it with her son since we were in his vicinity, and I was pleasantly surprised.  It was not Oscar material, but given that it truly ends up being "E.T. remade like Cloverfield", it was a fun movie to watch.

Orbiter Online... Remotely

October 1994:  Starship Sirius goes online in Central Florida.  A 7 line BBS with internet connectivity.

December 1995:  Upgraded to the name Orbiter Online as we begin our expansion towards 20 phone lines and one ISDN  line.

2001:  Moved to Port Orange and ended up losing dialup access after a series of issues involving no broadband access being available (partly bad planning, partly an inept local phone company);  moved to free non-profit hosting model for local schools and others.

2011:  For the first time, Orbiter and all it's domains are moving "out of the house".  It's both exciting (money savings) and a little sad.  I will still be hosting, but remotely.  All in all, it's just another semi-exciting step forward in the great changes happening in mine and my children's lives.  :-)   Seventeen years hosting and serving local schools and users.  Wow.

Orbiter and it's related BBS / web hosting / domain handling activities continue to be a minor part of my life.  There are even a couple of side projects that maybe I'll start up again that involve comics books, web hosting, and still the long standing dream of a restaurant... who knows what will come next.  I have a future wife and many things to work out first which are definitely more important.  :-)   So, ship's registry NX-40911 is still around, and isn't a museum just yet...

MOVIE: X-Men First Class

I am a comic book collector  (who may possibly be winding down on that front over the next year, but am not sure yet).  I have been with the exception of a few years early in my married life when we were watching money) since around the age of 10 when I first picked up ROM Spaceknight.

X-Men First Class was, in many ways, the near-perfect super hero "origin" movie.

I am not going to spoil ANYTHING about this movie.  I am simply making the above declaration and suggest you go see it, especially if you saw the three X-Men movies, or if you like the X-Men comics.  Well done to all involved!

Adjusting From Selfless To (Slightly) Selfish Mode

It occurred to me last night, as I was reading some unfortunate posts by one of my kids that I'm finally entering the part of my life where I can concentrate on ME for once.  I did this once before to a lesser degree a few years ago, and ended up in a relationship that never should have happened (and in the process, caused some pain to my four kids during that brief and poorly chosen union).  Now after a period of reset, some searching for that special someone complete and a shift from over 12 years in a negative working environment, I am in a relationship with a wonderful woman that I care for deeply, am in a job that is full of positive-thinking co-workers AND management, and can spend each day just about stress-free.  This is a very new concept for me to deal with!

The only things left stress-wise are related to the long dead relationship with my ex-wife and her father (and their influence that is misleading my children to various degrees).  But I have faith in my children and their ability to make wise decisions as they enter the early years of adulthood (especially as they are now armed with a wide range of information that was never made available by me until this very week).  In some cases it may take months.. possibly years.. but they know that my love and attitude towards them is consistent and lifelong.  :-*

Jaime and I continue to discuss what we want to do, while Chris gets ready to spend a month in California with his brother Anthony who will be visiting from his Army Base in Germany.  Amanda is headed towards marriage in September to her sweetheart Marcus, and Daniella is (apparently) doing well with her work (she is not currently talking to me unless she needs something, but again.. faith..).  Jaime's daughter is finishing up high school (while her son is in college and doing the young adult thing as well).  We've watched six awesome kids grow from babies to where they are now, and I think I can speak for us both to say we're excited more than anything else about all of their long-term prospects.

It amazed me yesterday to realize: "I can think about ME now" which I shared aloud with Amanda as I was dealing with some of the last vestiges of the previously mentioned ex.  Being able to actually consider MY wants and MY future once again without (much) worry for The Mighty Four is unprescedented.  They are surely still ever present in my mind's eye, but I have music, art and other hobbies to spend more time on, plus trips and lifestyle changes already being discussed with my fiance to consider and implement.  My mother is apparently headed toward remarriage (dad died back in 2009) with Merle, and hopefully has found happiness there.  So it truly is... time for Tony to think about Tony.  And Jaime.  :-*

You Do Not GIve A Full Power Of Attorney To Someone Just Because You Are Going Into The Military

When I recently learned that my ex-wife was asking (and successfully got) my youngest son (age 18) to give her Power Of Attorney because he was going into the Army, I immediately had grave concerns.  "Why would she do that," I wondered.  I did some investigation.  This is the result of that investigation, both with several Army veterans (who will remain nameless out of respect for their giving me this information) and spending several hours reading online about the subject.

First, I erroneously talked with the ex's father, who up until this event happened, I had trusted as someone I coudl talk frankly with about things related to my (and her) children.  The same day, I discovered he lied to me repeatedly (proven by one of those same children who verified he personally notarized one of these Powers Of Attorney that he claimed (vehemently, passionately and repeatedly) as having absolutely no knowledge of).

One of the kids suggested also that their Recruiter said they should do this.  This gave me pause, and made me decide I should investigate much further, including asking advice of those who  have served in the military.

Asking Army Veteran "1", I was told he saw absolutely no reason to give a Power Of Attorney to someone, except possibly a LIMITED POA which gave decision rights that would be specifically spelled out in the POA, such as decisions to be made for them if they were incapacitated (in a coma, etc).  This made sense to me.  However, a REGULAR Power Of Attorney (to my knowledge at the time) gives full control of their finances (access to their credit, as if the person with POA were their spouse basically, except perhaps MORE powerful than a marriage as it supercedes any future marriage after-the-fact, meaning the person with POA could trump any decision a fuure spouse could make).   So, this is already clear reason by one veteran with extensive financial and military experience why you would not give a blanket Power Of Attorney to someone "just because you are going in the Army".

Asking Army Veteran "2" (also married to a veteran), I receive very similar informtion.  At first, he debated that "maybe" a "LIMITED Power Of Attorney" might be a good idea for "medical reasons and decision making", but certainly not full financial control (which was verified with one of my kids, that their mother suggested "SHE COULD BUY LAND ON THEIR BEHALF" while they were in the military if a "good deal" came around).  Unfortunately, the rose-colored glasses of a "helpful family member" is seemingly being used to try (and in at least one case, succeed in getting) my sons to give control of their LIVES to someone of a less than trustworthy nature.  This veteran then suggested something that completely slipped my mind as the logical alternative:   A LIVING WILL.  This is EXACTLY what a Living Will is for, is it not?  To allow care for an individual to be dictated by that individual ahead of time and to give power of those decisions to another person if they are incapacitated, without necessarily giving power over their finances or general decision making skills to them?  Interesting.

Asking Army Veteran "3", who had extensive years-long dealings with most of my kids, is a "lifer" in the military and someone whom I'd literally follow the advice of without hesitation out of respect for him and the example he set for them, told me unequivocally that this was not the right decision, and that "he would question" the motives of a person coercing an impressionable young person to give absolute control of their affairs, giving full access to their credit and financial affairs, and that a Living Will sounded like the right idea "to care for and handle the needs" of someone who may be incapacitated.

So I began yet another search online (Google, then other sites) for information about this.  Googling such terms as (in case someone reading this would want to do it themselves - remember to read MORE THAN ONE RESULT when doing so):

"going in the army power of attorney"
"power of attorney versus living will"
and several others

...I read over and over again how a blanket Power Of Attorney was not a good idea.  One of the many results I read through even states that IF YOU ARE GOING to use a Power Of Attorney, you limit it to the things you WANT TO GIVE POWER OVER and that otherwise you are giving FULL CONTROL OF YOUR FINANCES to that person.  CLICK HERE TO READ MORE from a single source of information.  Step FIVE is ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT!

The fact that my son was told "land purchases" could be made "for him" in his absence told me that this is the intent (to perhaps use his credit and financial information "legally" without his consent), not simply "medical concerns".  The fact that at least one (and probably both) of my DAUGHTERS, who are NOT GOING IN THE MILITARY were asked to sign a Power Of Attorney tells that this is the intent.  And the fact that my children, who spent 18 years under the "rule" of parents (mostly myself) that my son, both times discussing this POA with his mother has told me he does not want to discuss it WITH ME, and that his grandfather lied to me repeatedly, and that his mother is someone of a less-than-honest nature unfortunately (accentuated by the fact that I would never ask my children to give me Power Of Attorney and yet one of them suggested that maybe "I was mad that I didn't think of it first," sadly).

So, all I can now do, since they are adults, is give them advice, give them the advice of veterans who know, and give them the benefit of a lifetime spent realizing where honesty lies within our family.  Unfortunately, it is not on the side of the family that DID APPROACH THEM and try to make them sign a Power Of Attorney. It is not on the side of the family that REPEATEDLY LIED (as proven by that same 18 year old son who watched his grandfather notarized the Power Of Attorney) about having any knowledge that this was being done.   It is not with the side of the family that in fact has stolen money from multiple sources, including THESE VERY CHILDREN when they were younger, as well as their FATHER (me), previous EMPLOYERS and the GIRL SCOUTS OF AMERICA (documented by the News-Journal, a public newspaper, stating that criminal wrongdoing was admitted and restitition paid through local law enforcement when it was discovered, investigated and handled).  People make mistakes, certainly (I have stolen petty cash from an employer in my history, which I've shared with my childeren as an object lesson which I have always prayed would help them realize that we are all human and can learn from each other).  However, a pattern of repeated behavior, family members lying to cover the situation, and making sure that the father who raised the kids is kept completely out of the loop is certainly NOT the action of someone trying to "do the right thing" and "protect" someone.

It's the action of someone trying to turn my children into LOTTERY TICKETS.

I pray that they continue to evaluate this situation, and that any of them which has given this Power to their mother gets it REVOKED IMMEDIATELY and instead sets up a Living Will if they are truly concerned about their decision making abilities.  I certainly offer myself to them, but frankly, given the fact that I have to be in this position yet again of being the "bad guy" by outing their mother, I have already told those who I have talked to that they should find a NEUTRAL THIRD PARTY to involve (perhaps an attorney who will simply and without ANY SELF-SERVING involvement handle this professionally and legally).  Their grandfather is not an attorney, despite some limited schooling he supposedly received.

I post this online in an effort to make sure that this information is PUBLIC and (as always) to allow ANYONE who wishes to debate, argue or perhaps BENEFIT from it to see it, comment on it, and most of all, to arm my children against what I "suspect" (by decades of experience) is a manipulation by their mother (and possibly their grandfather).  The day that they discover that their credit was used for her (or their) selfish purposes, and that they GAVE that power to them, I hope and pray they are able to recover from the decision made by a younger self, without the benefit of INDEPENDENT LEGAL COUNSEL.

I remain, and will always be, the proud father to the Mighty Four, who has had the unenviable job of having to defend,  protect and advise my awesome kids against the inappropriate behavior of their own mother.  I do not apologize for this.  I am done giving the "benefit of a doubt" to her (or her father, now).

To my children:   I am "sorry" that I yet again have to be the cold, hard bearer of facts, but I also LOVE YOU WITHOUT FAIL and have ALWAYS had your best intenntions at heart.  I will NEVER allow you to be damaged, within whatever means I have or can take, you have my promise on that, as you always have.  Love you!!!!!