So my older daughter calls me to inform me she's in the emergency room, having her ankle checked, after having submitted a police report for being mugged by two "men".
It would be interesting to be given five minutes alone with these men. I think I would enjoy myself with them, doing things to them to satisfy my want for the "do unto others as they do unto you and yours" philosophy. It's unfortunate we don't live in a society where the victim can have their five minutes with a tethered offender to do with as they wish...
Perhaps now would be a good time to review the Cooper color codes with your other children. Using them effectively can be a very effective deterrant to this sort of thing.
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