So.
The kids are all in bed (the night did not end well between us). I am trying to get pictures scanned for a year-end DVD (for the graduating seniors at Spruce Creek High School) that I'm authoring, and am having a hard time getting motivated to get the tedious part done (the scanning). Work seems to be very slowly getting less and less attractive for various reasons (not even the ones that most I work with would think). I bought a router to replace the faulty old one... and I hate it. Three completely different females in, and not in, my life, are all driving me insane (and I'm quite sure they do not know it). And I. Am frankly. Depressed.
I started, then the next day deleted, a separate journal from this one "elsewhere" on the web recently. The purpose, I told myself, was to have an anonymous outlet for myself. As honest as I am here, I can't fool myself into thinking I'm being 100% honest. My kids read this. Certain co-workers read this. Women-of-note are (I assume) occasionally reading this. I sometimes really hate having been raised with "Baptist sensibilities" and the bizarre fill of self-imposed limitations that I currently "enjoy". I could really take a lesson from some of those closest to me (but apparently I refuse to).
This entry is obviously both POINTLESS and SCATTERBRAINED. I should delete it, but then it would defeat the purpose of TRYING to be open and honest.
I sometimes want to SPOIL my children.
Other times, I would like to FIND A NEW JOB.
These are incompatible.
I sometimes wish my wife were still around.
Other times, I wish that Bright Eyes would get a clue.
Both of these stem from "adult loneliness".
I sometimes think that I would rather just disappear from existence.
Other times, I feel the need to plan seventeen events for the family.
This is just another in a 38-year series of events showing that I am a man of extremes, who finds it hard to find a middle ground on much of anything.
As if to compound the things I'm feeling right now... a second member of my department quit today. Two months ago, we had seven members. Now we have three including me. Life's great, really..
ReplyDeleteAnd then, I found out that two MORE members of our corporate office were "let go" last Friday. Either there is some major bad-karma cashing in right now, or some really GOOD things are about to happen. I wish I knew which one so I could plan accordingly...
ReplyDeleteHEY. Now.. we (the remaining members of my department) are setting up to train "outsourced replacements" for those members who are no longer with us.
ReplyDeleteI think this is where I am supposed to start worrying.
Went back to the OLD router for now (until it locks again; then I get my RMA; or, it will work forever, either one is fine with me at this point). The Netgear WPN824v2 is fine for the average home, especially for wireless, but I've found that nothing at the consumer level I've found holds a candle to the combinations of functions on the D-Link DI-624, even after 2 years.
ReplyDelete