Why Men Die Younger

(found on Rooster Teeth's web forum today...)

Do you know how tough it is being a man...?

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.

If you work too hard there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're an insensitive pig.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly lingerie, you're a pervert.
If you don't, then you can’t be straight.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist.
If you don't, you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself.
If you don't, you're not ambitious enough.

If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.